…especially on Monday, which is normally a busy night.
And thus ends the January-Gym-Jam that plagues the fitness faithful every year. Those of you in the New Year’s Resolution Ring have faded away. I look forward to seeing you return the week before spring break and whenever people really start hitting the beaches hardcore out here.
Rather than yell at you for being worthless sacks of scum, I’d like to do something constructive. Let’s have a contest!
Whoever posts the BEST excuse for breaking your New Years Resolution wins 28oz of M&Ms… paid for by the hard-working staff here at MikeRoberto.com
So go ahead and post your pathetic sob stories in the comments, and be sure to include your e-mail address (it won’t get posted and I won’t sell you to spammers). The contest ends in one week on 2/15/07, which is conveniently on pay-day.
FAQ
- What do you mean by “best”?
I don’t know. Whatever I like best. Either the funniest, or the most humiliating, or the most pathetic excuse. The more detail the better
- Do I have to tell you what my resolution was?
No, but it might help.
- Will you ship internationally?
- 28oz?
Yes. According to the Official M&M’s Site, they are available in these sizes: 1.69 oz., 3.14 oz., 5.3 oz., 9.4 oz., 14 oz., 21.3 oz., 52 oz. I will purchase and ship two 14oz bags.
- 2 bags? Can I choose my configuration if I win?
Sure, as long they’re available in 14oz portions.
- What if there’s a heat wave next week?
They have a thin candy shell!
- I don’t trust you. What’s the catch?
None. The greatest thing about people who don’t trust me is how quickly they realize that I can be trusted due to my total apathy for all things malicious. In other words, I am too socially lazy to do anything bad that would lose your trust.
- Peanut M&M’s are the best!
I agree
- Where’d you find that picture of a fat kid with a shovel?
images.google.com is still the coolest site out there for finding the weirdest crap on the net. No offense to fat kid with shovel.
No. If you are foreign, I’ll PayPal you $5. If you don’t have PayPal, then tough luck. This offer excludes anyone from Iran, Syria, Iraq, North Korea, and France.
Good luck everyone! 2/15/07 is your deadline… and don’t worry if I post another blog before then, it’ll still be in effect.
By Jordan February 8, 2007 - 11:44 pm
Broken resolution: “To remain jobless and collect unemployment until the government well runs dry.”
Southern California is THE best place to suck the government’s teat. In LA-a metropolis of artists/tourists-there’s no shame in spending the entire day dicking around under sunny skies. My innate midwestern nose-to-the-grindstone induced guilt quickly acquiesced to a beach towel and a semi-monthly government stipend for enjoying myself.
My unemployment wasn’t the consequence of incompetence, but rather the result of a decision to work in entertainment–a dynamic industry that offers ZERO job security.
The mantra during 5+ months of no job: Don’t Panic! I knew that I could always fall back on my prestigious English degree from the Ohio State University-Columbus (the Harvard of OSU campuses–contrary to what those dopes in Mansfield claim).
And fall back I did. As an executive assistant to the Vice-President of Ad Sales for Comcast Network Sales (the OSU Mansfield of assistant positions).
The government well didn’t run dry. But colder temperatures and cloudy skies in winter La-La land have pushed me back into an office. I plan to be gainfully employed until July, just in time for beach weather.
Resolution, broken.
Peanut M&Ms are good, but Almond M&M’s are the best!
Resolutions that are still alive: entering contests, disseminating my junk mail in the back seats of friends’ cars, flirting only w/girls that are in my financial league, finding girls that are in my financial league, masturbating only to girls that are in my financial league but turned me down, learning to masturbate w/my less dominant hand (right), learning to use the mouse w/my less dominant mouse hand (left), removing all emotional attachment/investment from the most pathetic and rudderless professional sports franchise (Cleveland Browns), increasing all emotional attachment/investment for my alma-mater’s team-fully conscious that even they will break my heart (OSU football/basketball), ending stuff
By Jordan February 13, 2007 - 12:23 pm
Will I win this contest by default? How very lame. .guess I’m the only scumbag who hasn’t kept his resolution.
By Mike Roberto’s Blog » Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have a Champion February 15, 2007 - 3:18 am
[…] it or not, in the past week, mikeroberto.com has amassed nearly 500 hits since posting this earlier blog entry! Typically, you will get one comment for every 100 page views. It’s one of the extensions of […]